And isn’t that the underlying issue of perfectionism? If I’m the sum total of what I have and what I do, then I need to hold tightly to what I have and carefully control what I do. My image must be carefully contrived so that I can control how people perceive me. If there’s one small chink in my armor, people will hone in on my imperfections. Furthermore, the person who discovers the error is superior. He may decide not to love me because of my faults. So he gains the upper hand, and I lose control. And that is scary.
It’s even more frightening to be married and realize I can’t be perfect enough to earn my husband’s love.
I wasn’t sure what I was getting when I got this book off the free list at Amazon. I thought by some of the reviews made by others that it was going to be hilariously funny; it really wasn’t funny at all. It had a few funny lines in it, but it was more of a self-help kind of book with Christian undertones.
Written in the first person, Grace Adams thinks her life is wonderful: She has a loving husband, 3 beautiful children, a Christian upbringing that she still cherishes, and 2 dashunds named Laverne and Shirley…everything is great until her dashunds take her husband’s underwear and strew them across the front yard. That should have been her first clue to his infidelity. It was like they were secretly telling her to kick him to the curb along with his underwear.
Her mom brings her a book called “Looks Great Naked”. Of course, Grace is devastated that she thinks that her mom thinks she’s fat. Her mom always said that if he doesn’t get it at home, he would go elsewhere looking for it. Add to that the extra pounds, and that was a sure recipe for infidelity.
When Grace discovers her husband has racked up a $2000 phone sex bill, she begs him to stop since they can’t afford this sort of nonsense. He does stop, but then starts up with something else…first he starts drinking heavily and then he starts staying out all night…quickly, you can see where this is heading…then to affairs.
She again begs him to stop, to get some help. He finally agrees to go to rehab for sex addicts. Of course, before going to the rehab center, he calls his girlfriend for a one-nighter.
Through it all, Grace becomes enlightened, sort of like in the book Eat, Pray, Love. Although she thought she was doing right by trying to save her marriage, she was only hurting herself, her children and her well-being.
This book was wonderfully written in a way that many can relate to. It wouldn’t just have to be for women (or men) married to sex addicts because it would also help the families of the alcoholic, the drug addict, the food addict, etc.
The only problem I had with this book was that there were several formatting issues where the words were cut off. I found this with both of my devices, therefore making one chapter very difficult to read. But, if you can get past a few formatting problems, it was a great read.
At the end of the book, the author writes that this was a work of fiction…however, I tend to disbelieve that. It felt too much like true-to-life experiences for it to be anything but real life.
An excellent read, one that a lot of us can learn by. 5 stars!