Fifty Shades Of Grey By E L James

“So, you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.”

“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy–it’s a very simple equation.”

“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”

He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.

“Me,” he says simply.

Oh my.

I had to see what all the fuss was about this book.

To tell you the truth, it sucked.

This book is a fan fiction, reminiscent of Twilight fame. The characters vaguely resemble Bella and Edward, however, it is very vague. Why this book is getting the attention that it is, is beyond me.

I wasn’t sure what to think about this book, and while the story itself was great, turning from a premeditated sexual arrangement into something that kind of resembled the beginnings of love, the author had to go and ruin the story at the end. Quite disappointing. And, definitely not reminiscent of Twilight at all.

On the back cover of the book, it’s called an ‘Erotic Romance’. That it was…well, that is, up until the end. Excuse me, Miss James, but your ending sucked.

The story begins with Anastasia Steele going to the business office of a very young, handsome billionaire to interview him for the school newspaper. She’s only doing this because her friend, Kate, is ill. Ana is a twenty-one year old virgin who doesn’t have a computer or cellphone. When she meets Christian Grey, she is mesmerized by his looks, his demeanor and his power.

Christian is very over-powering to Ana, and she feels compelled to do whatever he wants. Add in here that she is a virgin…and one that doesn’t “play with herself” and has never touched herself “down there”. (Yeah, like that’s believable.) He is a Dominent. He wants her to be his Submissive. He gives her a contract to look over and sign, if she so wishes. She is unsure about signing the contract, as she has her own “rules” she wishes him to abide by as well.

He ‘gives’ into her want of something more than just sex, because he starts having feelings for her. He realizes that she is as mesmerizing and as amazing to him as he is to her. But, the secrets he holds bother Ana. He has difficulty opening up to her, to tell him why he needs to cause her pain, and she feels the need to know everything about him.

He lavishes gifts on her that are unwanted, and sexually, they have an amazing relationship. But, Ana wants more…she wants him to cuddle her, to sleep with her in the same bed instead of leaving her after he has had his way with her. When she gives him what he wants, allowing him to restrain her, and to use his many “toys” on her, he starts giving in and giving her the more that she wants.

When his secrets are revealed at the end, Ana understands that she can never be what he wants her to be, to do the things that he wants to do to her, so she leaves.

I can’t reveal what his secrets are. You’ll have to read the book for that. But know this, if you were expecting a fan fiction of the paranormal type, or anything even remotely close to Twilight, this is not it. I will also say that if you do not like erotic books, then don’t read this. If you don’t like bondage, restraining, anything involving pain (regardless of whether it’s used in a sexual way or to “punish” someone), then don’t get this book.

I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I started reading this book…and while I’ve read my fair share of erotic stories/books, this one actually had some substance to it.

Ok, so the book wasn’t bad…it was the ending that sucked. How can this book be called a romance when the romance died emotionally, physically and everything inbetween, at the end? If this book is supposed to be “another Twilight”, the author got it all wrong. Edward would never hurt Bella intentionally, yet Christian was all about hurting Ana. With just a few pages to go, I thought Christian and Ana were going to declare their love for one another, that she had broken him of some of his wanting to ‘hurt’ her. By the last page, I wanted to dump the novel in the trash. It sucked. I’m truly pissed off about it because I wanted the proverbial happy ending. Does that make it a good book because I’m pissed off? Not in my books.

The writing was poor, Ana having internal arguments with her “inner goddess”, and the overuse of some words and phrases like, Oh my, murmured, jeez, etc. The story was truly unbelievable.

I have another reason for hating this book…the author must have gotten a new thesaurus for Christmas because there were so many words in the book that I had to look up in the dictionary. One or two words I found in the book, weren’t even in the dictionary. (I will be doing a blog on this very topic soon on my All Kidding Aside blog)

So, disappointment has found me because I really thought that I was going to love this book. I’m giving this book 2 stars. This book lost one star for being so hyped up that I wanted to buy it (and now regret doing so), one star for the lousy ending, and the third star for me having to spend so much time looking up stupid words like phelgmatically, which isn’t even a word according to the dictionary. If the writing had been of better quality, then I might have been able to overlook this. Even the sex scenes weren’t that hot.

This book sucks. Will I read the next one? Ah, I don’t think so. I’m just sorry I bought this one.

BTW, I can’t believe they are actually planning on making a movie out of this…I won’t be seeing, that’s for sure.

Just sayin’.

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16 Comments

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16 responses to “Fifty Shades Of Grey By E L James

  1. conspiracyqueen

    I love your candid review and comment ‘this book sucks’. That’s somehting Shelly would say.

    Anyway, see. Even books published by big time publishers suck. Ha!Ha!

  2. I think any novel that relies too heavily on the sexual elements is compensating for serious defects.

    If you want a good erotic romance, read Lunch by Karen Moline. I didn’t think I was going to like it at first because it has some of the same bondage and submission elements this book has, and I don’t like that at all…but the ending was very powerful.

    • Well, as for the bondage and submission thing, not my thing either. Reading about it is one thing, but having to live through the humiliation that that incurs. Ana gets her heart shattered at the end, her spirit broken. No, I don’t think that’s what romance is. False advertising.

  3. I don’t read many erotica books, so probably wouldn’t look at this one twice. However, I have heard so much about it lately, curiosity was getting the better of me. Now I won’t bother, thanks for a candid review. You might enjoy Eden Baylee’s Fall into Winter. She writes erotica but with a story. I did read that one because it was four shorties in one, so it wasn’t so overpowering for me.

    Again, enjoyed the review.

    • This book had the story, but the sex seemed never ending. Hell, a newly deflowered girl is not going to want it several times during the day, night and everytime (and place) in between. Plus, the orgasms were explosive for this virgin. Yeah, so not believable…with the way he was described, she shouldn’t have been able to walk for a week. LOL

  4. Oh wow – when you compared it to Twilight, my first thought was I am not reading that book. Funny, I was just looking at it on my kindle yesterday and then said no to myself. Something seemed off about it.

    Also, I am not into bondage and submission either or shattered hearts.

    Thanks Beth for saving me some money. 😉

    Cyn

  5. The Desert Rocks

    Wow, great review and I think I’ll pass on reading it. Especially because it sounds like E.L. James is actually saying that giving it up for the publisher is the only way to get that million dollar advance!

  6. Great review, Beth. Very thorough, and very concise reasons for not liking the book.

    From everything I’ve heard about these books, I have no interest at all in reading them. The author’s got issues with her writing style, the characters seem hollow, and the idea of control seems extremely one sided, which bothers me a lot.

    And since it started out as a twilight fan fic…. that’s another strike. You know, Stephanie Meyer could go after her and sue her….

    • It’s definitely different from Twilight, but there are lines in the book that are exactly like those in the books. And, there are things in the books and movies that this book has emulated…Maybe that’s what you’re supposed to do with a fan fic…I don’t know. However, as opposing as everyone is to the Twilight series, it’s better writing than this. Sorry guys…

  7. Jessica

    For me, bad writing is enough of a warning to keep me away. That, and poor editing, if what she really meant was ‘phlegmatic’, which is an unemotional person.
    We all know why it was published: it will make a ton of money. A lot of books are published for this reason. For me, I’m interested in why so many women want to read about submissive female characters, and why we are being told that men are attracted to them. (Like in Twilight: Bella?? Are you kidding me??)

    • I don’t know why anyone (male or female) would wish to be put in submission, but to each his own I guess. However, I must admit, and anyone who knows me knows this, I am a Twi-hard fan. But, the relationship between Bella and Edward is way different than the non-relationship between Ana and Christian. Um, give me the sparkly vampire anyday…

  8. I think the submissiveness angle on either side annoys me… getting tied up is one thing entirely… but everything I’ve heard about this book says it goes over the line right into humiliation.

    No thanks, not interested.

    Oh, and Glynis is right about Eden. Check out her blog sometime.

    • I agree, William. Humiliation is not sexual….I don’t see how it can be. Being bound and gagged (Ana is never gagged in the story) isn’t something I see as sexual. Being ordered around…yeah, that’s not sexual. Not interested either.

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